10-17-06
Start: Isleton, CA
Destination: Antioch, CA
Elevation: 33 ft.
Miles: 24.2
Weather: Sunny, cloudless, windy
This is a special entry dedicated to my dad. It's a personal piece to my story - not just my battle with Aplastic Anemia, but my family's as well.
After having several seizures as a side effect to the heavy medications I was on for the treatment for Aplastic Anemia, I was Life-Flighted to the hospital and in the ICU for a while. While in the ICU, there was a moment doctors and family weren't sure if I'd be able to pull through. A priest was brought in, and with my Dad witnessing, he read me my last rites. I don't have any recollection of that day, but after I came out of it, the more we talked about it (even years later), the more I learned.
When I was laying there, my dad sat next to me, holding my hand - the hand of his "Little Polish Princess." He put a set of headphones on my ears and played a song. It was "Lord is it mine," by Supertramp. Years later, when I found out about this, I listened to that song over and over. I don't know exactly why my dad picked this song, but I can only think it was his way of sharing one last prayer with me - in his own way - in case I decided to walk with God that day.
So the words to this song mean so much to me, and in my heart, I know that dad knows just how much. It might always be an unspoken understanding - only because there's really no way to put it into words.
The lyrics:
I know that there's a reason why I need to be alone...
You show me there's a silent place that I can call my own...
Is it mine? Oh, Lord, is it mine?
You know I get so weary from the battles in this life...
There's many times it seems that you're the only hope in sight...
Is it mine? Oh, Lord, is it mine?
When everything's dark, and nothing seems right...
There's nothing to win, and there's no need to fight...
I never cease to wonder at the cruelty of this land...
But it seems a time of sadness is a time to understand...
Is it mine? Oh, Lord, is it mine?
If only I could find a way to feel your sweetness through the day...
The love that shines around me could be mine...
So give us an answer, won't you...
We know what we have to do...
There must be a thousand voices trying to get through.
Dad, thank you, and I love you...
...Pappy...
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